A D D I C T I O N… if there is one thing I’ve learned this semester it is that we all have it. Maybe yours is alcohol or sweets, or anorexia. Maybe yours is out there for the world to see or maybe your doing everything you can to keep it hidden. I have studied addiction for three months now and it has been some of the most incredible 3 months. I didn’t have tests instead I was graded on digging deep and overcoming my own addiction. I met with a sponsor once a week and attended AA meetings in Cache Valley. When I first was deciding on addiction I figured I could do something easy like shopping for clothes but when I really thought about this opportunity I wanted it to be real and hard. I never would have considered myself a sweet addict but then again who does? When I took account of how much I had eaten sweets the last week I felt strongly it was what I needed to give up!

At first I felt super motivated as we all do when we try to stop or start something haha! My sweet hubby said he would do it with me. I let our families know in hopes that I could get some support and I threw out all of the sweets in our apartment. Well that lasted all of a few days before the temptation really set it. It came in the form of going home for the weekend and being surrounded by cupcakes, cookies, brownies, ice cream, candy and whatever else was thrown at me. Or game night with friends and cookies being there! Hudson caved after two weeks and that was hard. I so badly wanted someone to be in this with me even though it was truly up to me to overcome it. I realized at week two that it was up to me.

By week three I still hadn’t caved. I was making smoothies like once a day to curb my sweet tooth (I’ll include the recipe below)! Every time people wanted to go out for ice cream or we were home for the weekend it was HARD. Like really hard. Not everyone got it, and I was told a lot that it wasn’t that big of a deal but for me it was. This wasn’t a stupid assignment this was real guys addiction is real and anyone that says otherwise is dumb haha! Just try giving up TV or sugar for two weeks and let me know how that goes haha! I thought of the people I know in my life that have struggled with addiction. I thought of how badly I’m sure they have fought their demons. I felt like I was doing it for them. Every time I wanted to take a bite of that pie or cookie I thought of them.

Around week 5 the cravings started to subside. It didn’t mean it was no longer a challenge but it wasn’t as bad. Friends automatically knew not to ask me if I wanted a cookie and I felt like I had more strength to turn down family when they made it around me. It didn’t bug me if Hudson had a bowl of ice cream next to me on a couch haha! Having a sponsor that I could talk to and bounce ideas off of was awesome! She helped me come up with great alternatives to sweets that I will write below. And having a husband that was super supportive and helpful also made a big difference!

Week 11 came and I was done with the project for my class. I seriously played with the idea of stopping right then and there. I got my grade, I learned a lot, now what? I decided to keep going and to continue to not eat sweets/desserts for a while longer. In my mind never in my life have I gone this long without eating sweets so why stop now? I’m excited for the future and to keep setting new goals and overcoming obstacles!

In my first AA meeting we discussed Step 5: Admitting to God, ourselves and others the exact nature of our wrongs. People shared how HARD it can be to take that personal inventory and to really reflect on what we are doing that is wrong. Sometimes being real with ourselves is the hardest part. If you are struggling with addiction or are looking to make a change in an area of your life, know that you are strong and capable. You can do the hard things no matter how impossible it may seem at first. Don’t take the easy way out. Fight for the life you want and keep going! Get help and find support! I love you guys! If anyone has any questions about this journey comment below or message me!

TIPS FOR DITCHING THE SWEETS/DESSERT

1. Go all in! Hudson and I started working out at 6am when we stopped eating sweets. It helped me release stress and also feel like I was making a healthy lifestyle change rather than just stopping sweets. I found more motivation doing that too!

2. Find healthy alternatives! I knew when we went to certain places there would be more sweets so I found recipes that made me feel like I was indulging but weren’t sweets! Lillie loves macros has one of my all time favorite desserts that I ate at family gatherings while everyone else was eating cupcakes I ate this! I also loved Nature Valley peanut butter granola bars. They aren’t the healthiest but they curbed my sweet tooth and were nice to have on the go! The first 3 ish weeks I drank smoothies a lot during the week! Probs because I was having ice cream withdrawls (haha I LOVE ICE CREAM) but it really did help! MY SMOOTHIE RECIPE: frozen rasberries, one banana, greek lowfat vanilla yogurt. BOOM thats it! I made it SUPER thick so I would add more frozen berries and yogurt to get a thick ice cream like consistency but it’s way good!!! Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies are my all time favorite! I

3. Don’t go hungry! When I skipped a meal or had a later lunch that is when I craved the most! I got into a pretty good eating routine and it really helped! Breakfast, lunch and dinner people! You need all three I promise;) We follow mostly macro based meals and I highly recommend Clean Simple Eats! They are SO YUMMY and very filling!

XO

KYLEE OLIVIA